The ex
Note: I'm breaking with my 4 letter policy on this post.
You know what. I was going to be all pretty and hide a message in a message but fuck that. I had a girl for while and things got bad, real bad. Usual story, usual ending. My feelings ended up like Victim (iTunes needed) by Eighteen Visions. Good song by the way I highly suggest it.
Anyways zoom forward many years...I've forgiven some things over time, not others. I still get adrenaline coursing through my veins any time I get worked up over it...and it's not a good thing. Anyways she's tried to contact me recently, twice. First through a friend of hers tried and I turned her down politely, no need to shoot the messanger. Secondly she tries. My first thought, light the pilot on the flame throwers, we gonna have ourselves a BBQ. I read the email to gather my vitriol and bile, the perfect fuel. Well let's just say things didn't go as expected. I now have a choice...be humane, or be human. Small letter, big difference.
FIRE!!!!! Well not really, I freakin' wussed out and now I'm thinking this might be a better song. I've decided that there's a great deal of anger still in me and sitting on it for years hasn't helped. Maybe the problem is not her but me and my reactions. I know that rebuilding any form of relationship, platonic or otherwise, is never gonna happen, as a question of trust is now a great mystery of the universe but maybe a little forgiveness and compassion will help instead. Anybody want to bet I'm going to regret this? God help me if this doesn't fuckin' work :).
Okay now everybody pick your jaw up off the floor it's not THAT out of character.
You know what. I was going to be all pretty and hide a message in a message but fuck that. I had a girl for while and things got bad, real bad. Usual story, usual ending. My feelings ended up like Victim (iTunes needed) by Eighteen Visions. Good song by the way I highly suggest it.
Anyways zoom forward many years...I've forgiven some things over time, not others. I still get adrenaline coursing through my veins any time I get worked up over it...and it's not a good thing. Anyways she's tried to contact me recently, twice. First through a friend of hers tried and I turned her down politely, no need to shoot the messanger. Secondly she tries. My first thought, light the pilot on the flame throwers, we gonna have ourselves a BBQ. I read the email to gather my vitriol and bile, the perfect fuel. Well let's just say things didn't go as expected. I now have a choice...be humane, or be human. Small letter, big difference.
FIRE!!!!! Well not really, I freakin' wussed out and now I'm thinking this might be a better song. I've decided that there's a great deal of anger still in me and sitting on it for years hasn't helped. Maybe the problem is not her but me and my reactions. I know that rebuilding any form of relationship, platonic or otherwise, is never gonna happen, as a question of trust is now a great mystery of the universe but maybe a little forgiveness and compassion will help instead. Anybody want to bet I'm going to regret this? God help me if this doesn't fuckin' work :).
Okay now everybody pick your jaw up off the floor it's not THAT out of character.
posted by bartenderpho at 8:43 PM
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